Sunday, April 3, 2011
A Battle Worth Fighting
I've been battling over writing this week.
As with most writers I find that I write best when I'm inspired to write. When that something just bubbles up out of my soul and there's no containing it. When the words that come are invigorating and full of life. There's nothing like that feeling.
But when inspiration doesn't come the words seem dull and lifeless, and sometimes I begin to question whether I'm a writer at all. Flooded with self doubt I find myself fighting over whether or not to continue to write. What's the point? Who will read it? and so forth. I console myself with the thought that I am many other things; a wife, a mother, a career woman. Maybe a writer isn't one of them. That wouldn't be so bad, would it?
But despite my efforts my heart remains unconvinced.
Sometimes I pray for the desire to write to leave me completely. I pray and I wait. But it doesn't leave. The desire to write remains and grows even stronger. What does it mean? What should I do? My questions remain unanswered.
So I write. Even if I don't have a reason. Even if it will not be read. I write just because.
Because there's this longing and a knowing that lies beneath all of the questions and doubts. A push and a pull towards something. A knowing that is both familiar and mysterious. The rest to be revealed in His time.
And listening to this knowing brings peace.
So I write.
How about you, do you struggle with your calling?
Let's keep fighting and moving forward,